Last night I had a nightmare. In that dream, I saw my dog being shot, and I watched helplessly as blood seeped out of her body. She was trembling all over and shrinking, and before long she lied helplessly in a pool of blood.

I woke up sobbing, and my chest literally hurt, as if someone just hit me there.

I don’t think anyone would ever understand how much she means to me. The past 2 years have been the absolute worst time of my life. Unfortunate things keep happening, one after another. I’ve been questioning my own judgment as I discover nasty things about people I used to love and respect. It really makes me sick to think how people can be so cruel and heartless, and as I feel so much fear, doubt, and animosity, this little furry ball has helped bring love and positive energy into my life. In her own way, she’s dragged me out of this deep dark hole of depression, over and over again.

She’s the only thing that makes living in Jakarta is bearable, even if it’s only the slightest. I owe her a lot.

I gave her extra hugs today, feeling more grateful than ever to have her by my side.