Jakarta has never been a home to me. I never get used to the traffic jam, the overpopulated space, the polluted air, the ridiculous number of malls and buildings that keeps growing, or the high number of crimes.

For the last three weeks, I’ve been living in this horrendous city and I’ve never been more exhausted than this. Being on the road when the dawn breaks and the dusk comes, I practically never see my house in daylight except in weekends, which I spend most of it in Bandung. Yes, I’ve traveled back and forth between Jakarta and Bandung for a while, but I really have no complain if it comes to going to Bandung. The amount of money, time, and energy that I use for traveling to Bandung don’t matter. Bandung is all the break I need from this stressful city and its routine that I’m currently living in.

I used to refer to Sumbawa when people ask me about my hometown, and sometimes I still do. But lately, I realize that Bandung feels a bit more like home to me, and my reference has changed slowly from Sumbawa to Bandung. And maybe that’s why I always feel this weird sadness whenever I leave Bandung for Jakarta: I leave my heart in Bandung.

Sumbawa still wins my heart for the definition of hometown. But there’s a saying, “Home is wherever your heart is”, and by that definition, I think Bandung satisfies me just enough.

Meanwhile, I’ll deal and hang on in this city I’ve never liked.