The weather had been good for a couple of days, but the day you left, it was raining. When I woke up and went outside for smoking, I was surprised to find the soil was wet, and there were puddles in the backyard.
That didn’t help at all. Already I was feeling gloomy, and the weather only made it worse. Maybe the universe wanted to set a fitting stage for your departure. Or maybe it was just my bad luck, as I was counting on the weather to make me feel better, thinking that it would still be sunny on the day you left.
Time had passed since you said, ‘I think we should stop,’ but seeing you leave for the second time, this time also leave this city for good, I realized that it still hurt the same as it had the first time. Seeing you hug your friends and step onto the bus really broke me. After that, the only time I wasn’t crying was when I slept, but even sometimes I cried in my sleep. My constantly damp pillow was the undeniable evidence.
Right after you left, I had a really strong urge to buy a ticket for going back home. What would be the point of staying here if you were gone? My friends were gonna leave within a month anyway, so I would have no one. The other reason why I had wanted to stay until December was to have another Christmas here, but even the thought of Christmas broke my heart, because it reminded me of how we met, and I knew once the paraphernalia was hung and the carol-singing schedules were up on the posters, it would break me even more. I didn’t have anything to look forward to anymore.
But then my housemate told me, ‘My mom always says, going home is always the easiest option, but that won’t make you stronger.’ So I decided to stay.
I’d been in my lowest point for a few weeks prior to your departure, ever since you told me the date you’d be leaving. But the day you left, I hit rock bottom. I had so many things to say to you, but my mouth could only mumble a feeble goodbye and cliche sentences. ‘Good luck.’ ‘Take care.’
Everyone was feeling blue that day, and maybe the universe picked it up and tried to send the message to you. That everyone, and I, were heartbroken to bid farewell to you.
It was raining the day you left.