Three days ago I tried to rearrange my laptop and its folders. It was messier than ever, I even had a hard time to look for a file. So guess what I found: my old diary which was written (or typed?) a few months ago. Yes, my diary has changed from a notebook to a Microsoft Word file. I post it here so if one day I ever feel like crap, I’ll remember that there are unexpected sweet things in life, like this one.
Sometimes, the one who cares about you is the one you don’t expect.
I experienced it today. Nothing unusual happened today, just the same gloomy feeling and the same bitter me. I believed every bad thing that happened to me was the universe’s way to torture me. Like my alarm that didn’t ring so I was late for class, or the pop quiz which somehow usually happened when I was least prepared and not when I had learned the night before, or when I accidentally spilled my coffee on my new jeans, leaving disgusting brown stain on it that I had to put it in special laundry. Not to mention heaps of assignment that the professor gave and the upcoming exam. Put those all in one day, and voila! This was one of my fucked up days.
I didn’t expect sympathy from my friends, really. I knew they had the same difficult day (although maybe not as fucked up as mine), but still, today wasn’t the best day in our lives. So I wasn’t surprised when they didn’t ask anything. Our conversations between classes were pretty much about assignments. How else would we find time to discuss that? No time for a light chit-chat like ‘How are things?’ or ‘What happened?’. Have been here for more than three years, I’m now a bit used to all of these stuff, when nobody (even your closest friends) gives a damn about your personal life, even when it crumbles. Oh well, I guess that’s what people say about ‘hitting the lowest point’.
Hoping to get some peace and gain sanity with a cup of tea, I went to my favorite coffee shop right after the sun set. I ordered the usual, peach tea. I didn’t bother to order meals or light snacks, I wasn’t in the mood for eating anyway. I sat in the corner and took out my laptop, wondered where should I start. Too many assignments could mess your head, really. I even had a hard time picking up the first subject I had to do first. Indecisive is really my middle name, I’ve known that since years ago.
I was just about to start typing when the waitress came and delivered my drink. To my surprise, she gave me a chocolate muffin I usually order along with peach tea.
“I didn’t order this muffin,” I said with a grunt, felt a bit annoyed. Didn’t I make it clear that I just order peach tea?
“It’s on me. I hope it can cheer you up a little,” the waitress said.
I looked up and saw her. She was smiling, and her eyes shot me with a concerned look. For the first time in weeks, I feel touched. I mean, really touched. When my friends were busy rushing here and there, panicking about assignments and deadlines, there stood a stranger who knew I wasn’t okay. To make it better, that stranger really wanted to make my day by cheering me up with the only thing she knows I like: chocolate muffins.
Right then, right there, I almost cried. I just squeezed her hand and muttered “Thank you.” I didn’t know if she heard it or not, but I was having a hard time keeping the tears from falling. That wasn’t tears of sadness, more like happiness, or relief. Because I finally knew that there was someone who still cared about me, even if she was a stranger whose name I didn’t know.
She really is a blessing in disguise.
Before I left the coffee shop, I went to her and hugged her as I once again thanked her. That time, I made sure she heard that, and I gave her a smile. My first smile in this day.
I asked her name after I hugged her. If the universe has sent me a blessing, it would be nice to know her name, wouldn’t it? And after all, maybe she won’t be a stranger anymore. :)