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Snippets of life

Farewells

“You really need to buy a large suitcase,” my mom said for the umpteenth time, with a concerned look on her face.

“No, I’ll just make do with the suitcase I have,” I replied with the same answer I’d always been sticking to.

“But you’re not leaving for just a year or so. You’re leaving for good.”

And I thought, so what? I just need to bring my clothes, as many as the suitcase will allow me. I don’t need to bring my other possessions.

I was very sure that my medium-sized suitcase would be just fine. Ever since the plan of moving the UK was on the horizon, I knew I didn’t need to buy new stuff that my suitcase wouldn’t have space for, so I’ve stopped buying things for some time, including clothes, books, and trinkets. I wasn’t attached to them anymore, so I thought I’d have no problem if I had to leave them behind.

I was so sure that I’d be more than happy to leave Jakarta, that I’d drag my suitcase at the speed of light toward the departure gate the minute I bid adieu to this city. Leaving friends and family would be hard, but I’d been preparing myself for it. I thought I was ready.

And then there were farewells.

I’ve been blessed with an incredible bunch of friends, with friendships that have stood the test of time and distance. And in my lowest times, they’re part of the reason why I’ve survived. Unbeknownst to me, when I told them I’d be leaving soon, they started hatching the plan to make me farewell parties.

And this was when all feelings and emotions got me.

I thought I’d prepared myself for the farewells, but the truth is, nothing could ever prepare me to say goodbye to the people who are my home. My heart is here and there, just like the people I love. But the good thing is, I’ve also got 2 places I could call home. One is Indonesia where my family, dog, and friends reside, and the other is the UK, the place that once was a home to me, and now is again.

I bought a large suitcase in the end. Not because I was overly attached to my possessions, but because I needed to bring all the gifts my friends and family had so kindly given me.

These are, after all, pieces of my other home.

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8 Comments

  • Reply denaldd

    Baca tulisanmu ini berasa mengharu biru Dixie. Ingat 2.5 tahun lalu saat pindahan. Aku ga mau diantar ke bandara oleh keluargaku karena ga mau berasa berat di hati. Pamitan dgn teman2 kuliah juga dadakan karena berangkat 2 minggu setelah ujian thesis. Eh ternyata beberapa diantara mereka nyusul ke bandara tanpa bilang2. Jadinya terharu banget. Sama seperti kamu, rumahku pun ada 2. Bagaimanapun keadaan Indonesia, rumahku tetap di sana karena keluarga dan teman2 baikku berada di sana. Selamat datang kembali Dixie ke rumahmu di UK. Sukses dan kebahagiaan selalu menyertaimu.

    June 2, 2017 at 10:01 pm
    • Reply Dixiezetha

      Pindahan emang selalu bittersweet ya Mbak. Antara seneng, semangat, sedih, waswas semua campur2 rasanya. Aku juga terharu banget ngeliat temen2 muncul di bandara, bahkan ada yang bela2in dari luar kota, berangkat malem sebelumnya. Bersyukur banget punya temen2 & keluarga spt ini :) Emang ga mudah ya Mbak tinggal jauh dari keluarga & temen2, tapi abmbil sisi positifnya, jadi punya 2 rumah hehe. Makasih ya Mbak Deny, doa yang sama untuk Mbak Deny :)

      June 5, 2017 at 10:51 am
  • Reply Arman

    Awww you have so many good friends :)

    Wish you success and happiness on your new journey…

    June 3, 2017 at 3:06 am
    • Reply Dixiezetha

      I do indeed, I’m so blessed to have them in my life :)

      Thank you ya Ko Arman :)

      June 5, 2017 at 10:52 am
  • Reply Nerissa

    Kak Dixieee, I’m wishing you all the best and happiness for your new journey ahead of you. Reading this totally made my heart warm and happy that you came back to a place once you called home and now it’s finally your home again for good. <3
    I believe your family and friends are still your home, no matter how far you go. They are always there to welcome us anytime. :)

    June 3, 2017 at 7:20 am
    • Reply Dixiezetha

      Nerissa, thank you for the wishes, really appreciate it. Yes it feels good to be back, although it was equally hard to leave friends and family in Indonesia. But like you said, they’re still home, and my heart will always be with them :)

      June 5, 2017 at 10:56 am
  • Reply felyina

    Huhuwww… baca postingannya kok aku jadi sedih sekaligus semangat. Eh kayak aku aja yang mau pindahan. Hahahahahaha… you have many good friends. Itu yang bikin hidup serasa lebih indah, bukan? ^_^ Salam kenal

    June 5, 2017 at 11:26 am
    • Reply Dixiezetha

      Halo Fely (eh bener ga nih panggilannya?), salam kenal juga yaa. Makasih udah baca postnya hehe. Bener, hidup jadi lebih indah karena orang2 yang kita sayang :)

      June 9, 2017 at 8:51 am

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