Last week, I said goodbye to my friend Timothy after he visited me for 2.5 days.
It all started the previous summer, when he threw the idea of meeting up the next year. I said yes of course. A man of his words, a few weeks ago he actually bought a ticket to Gothenburg. And so, we met again after 6 years.
I can’t put into words (without being too dramatic) how that short visit made me feel. The thing about old friends is, they feel like home. There are stories and anecdotes that you’ve shared, and there’s a sense of ease and comfort when you’re around them. It wasn’t until he left that I realized, it’s been a long time since I’d felt this relaxed being around someone that isn’t H or a family member. No forced smile or cheerfulness, no struggle to come up with a conversation.
And then I think about my old friends, who are living hundreds (if not thousands) miles away. I think about how time and distance have made us grown apart, and how all means of communications (WhatsApp, FB Messenger, etc.) could only help so much when no one is making an effort. It’s a two-way street, and I’m as much to blame as the other party in neglecting our relationships.
So this year, I want to focus on making an effort to reconnect with old friends. To care more, to give more time, and to share more – stories and other things. I’m not expecting to have things sorted just like that, I’ve accepted that some friendships have run their course and fizzled out. But some are also worth the time and effort to nurture, and I hope when I’m 60, I won’t look back with regret, wishing I’d done more when I still had the time and opportunity.